


Revali Versus the Loins of Wrath

by theghostlypresenceofabp



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Luckily Link is patient, M/M, Revali is a difficult pill to swallow, Selectively Mute Link
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 13:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11105418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theghostlypresenceofabp/pseuds/theghostlypresenceofabp
Summary: Revali isn't very fond of questioning himself. Fortunately, it's rarely been necessary.Unfortunately, this all changes when strange happenings begin occurring around Hateno Village. With Link suddenly turning into a beautiful Rito, Zelda potentially going bonkers locked inside of a basement, and a nefarious criminal on the loose, Revali may need to consider some...adjustmentsto his attitude.





	Revali Versus the Loins of Wrath

After months spent trekking through wheat fields and hillsides and towns, all of them far and vast and distant from his own, Revali had learned to appreciate a few important truths.

First, that it was quite boring, being miserable. He had quickly lost count of the number of frigid nights shared by the campfire, and there were times when he couldn’t process a single care in the world other than a longing for a good night’s rest. On evenings when he wasn’t too exhausted to think, he silently longed for the support of his sleeping hammock, or even a stiff Hylian bed, lamenting that he hadn’t thought to bring one with him. How could he have forgotten the importance of sleep hygiene? How stupid.

Secondly, and more importantly, he had also learned that attempting to alleviate his misery by inflicting misery unto others rarely worked out in the end, given enough time. But despite this wisdom, he still couldn’t resist.

And so, our tale dawns on a seemingly insignificant forest morning, as moist and as woodsy as ever. Woodsy especially because, following days of tedious shrine-scouting, the group of champions had finally agreed to rest in the middle of some dark, forsaken forest.

“Don’t pout,” Zelda had said without looking up, “Hateno Village is only an hour away, approximately.”

Revali didn't find that sentiment comforting in the slightest, so instead of attempting sleep for the thousandth time, he opted to occupy the night watch. He lasted about three hours before nodding off.

The next morning, Revali came to with a bored yawn, and was in the middle of admonishing the cracking sounds sprouting from his spine when he made a sudden realization: he was covered in a pile of disgusting forest leaves. Instinct suddenly seized him as he fought the urge to sneeze, or maybe even to panic. But before he could do either, he noticed something else: he was covered in a _suspicious_ amount of disgusting forest leaves. Swiftly craning his neck upwards, eyes narrowed, he spotted the likely culprit just out of wing's reach. On a narrow log sat none other than Revali’s arch nemesis. The Hero of the Sword - _Link_.

Link, who at that very moment, was calmly splayed out by the campfire, eating an apple slowly without making eye contact.

“Well?” Revali asked accusingly.

Link continued to eat his breakfast.

“Good morning to you as well, hero,” Revali grumbled. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to know why I’ve woken up entombed in plant matter, would you?”

Link raised an eyebrow innocently, but eventually spoke after tossing a lone twig into the still burning fire. “After you dozed off,” he explained in between munches, “You were shivering all night.”

Revali scoffed. As if the great, revered Revali, the most accomplished flyer of all the Rito, born in the mountains of Hebra, raised from birth to fend off the most severe winters, _really_ needed protection from the cold. But Revali played along, standing up and composing himself.

“Oh, so you _do_ care?” he began with a grin.

And then, Revali made an aggravating observation - they were were alone. There were no signs of Zelda, Urbosa, Daruk, or even Mipha to be found. He should’ve realized earlier. Revali only heard Link's voice when it was just the two of them together, which he assumed was just some calculated method of torture.

“Where exactly did the others go?” he asked with a hint of patience.

“They've gone to Hateno Village for the morning," Link munched. "Probably eating breakfast there without me. I pulled the short straw, by the way.”

“What!?” Revali squawked. “Then why leave me here?”

Link almost cracked open a smile. “Nobody wanted to disturb the leaves,” he explained.

Revali had never wanted to know whether his teammates valued leaves or himself more, but now the answer has revealed itself anyway. “Fantastic. How democratic of you,” Revali sighed, eyes down. “Well, from now on, please refrain from burying me in forest flotsam. I’m not dead yet, no matter how often I sometimes wish I were. Understand?” Revali watched half heartedly as Link’s smile dissipated. “... I’m going to wash these leaves off now,” he finished awkwardly.

Link had already transitioned to his old, stony self. “You’re just gonna get cold again,” he said.

Revali responded with a sideways glance.

“There’s a river that way,” Link motioned. “Found it earlier. I'll probably still be here when your birdbath is done.”

 

* * *

 

 

Summertime had come in a state of malaise, slow and creeping, eagerly waiting to hand itself over to fall. Far too soon for Revali’s liking, Hyrule was devolving into a fantasy land of ambers and purples, of swamps and crocodiles.

By the time Revali had trudged his way to the river shore, the sun had already slipped far over the canopy reaches. The river had revealed itself to be more akin to a sputtering, water-flowing-at-the-speed-of-molasses creek, but there were no better options. He’d already conducted a thorough reconnaissance of the surrounding area of course, and was now neck deep in the water, his armor folded neatly on the cleanest rock he could find. Link had been right about one thing, though, Revali thought begrudgingly - the oil on his dark feathers wasn’t making his experience any less cold. The water felt impressively cold, he had to admit - even for someone like himself.

Link. What in Hylia’s name was his deal, and why had he buried him in leaves? How did he not wake up? Did he really care? With each untangled twig stem, Revali’s thoughts delved deeper into murkier and murkier depths.

He had closed his eyes, and was just getting ready to dip his head underwater when he heard a sudden splash. Diving underneath the waves in a panic, he opened his eyes to see a red figure wading towards him.

Revali practically launched his head out of the water. “WHAT IN HYLIA’S NAME ARE YOU DOING!?” the warrior shrieked, simultaneously choking on the leafy water.

The stranger startled. “Hey! Hey, calm down!” it laughed loudly. “You checked for people just about everywhere _except_ for in the water, you realize? And I thought I should warn you, you’re practically bathing in the middle of a street!”

Revali had already wormed his way back onto his clothes rock, and was now covering his exposed parts the best he could manage. “That doesn’t mean you can just… just…” he gasped. He felt his feathers puff up on his neck. Doing his utmost to ignore the sensations, he began wrapping his scarf tightly around the area, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinized the stranger. The bathroom intruder was none other than a stout, eerily familiar looking Zora, red, and about Revali’s height. “Who… who are you?” Revali finally asked.

“Honestly,” the Zora smirked, “I’d rather not tell you now. Not to mention, if I did, I’d have to ask you the same, wouldn’t I?”

“...Could I not just also avoid the question?”

The Zora shook his head. “Look, the point is, I am very sorry for bothering you, even if it was a good bit of fun. I suppose this just goes to show, you shouldn't take baths so close to Zora’s Domain if you don't want to be caught naked. You should know also, nudity isn't really a big deal to us, in the first place."

Revali retained his sopping, uneasy expression.

The Zora tried again. “Okay, let me make it up for you then.” He secured a clear flask from the confines of his armor and handed it to the Revali using his tail. The Rito hesitantly accepted the flask and looked skeptically at the foamy, bubbling liquid inside.

But, Revali was not so quick to bestow gratitude. “...What is this?” he inquired.

“Booze,” the Zora replied, eyes twinkling. Then he suddenly laughed. "Nah, I’m just pulling your feathers. It’s a replacement for breakfast, made from fish, I believe. It may taste bitter, but I guarantee that it will delay any hunger you have for a good while. I hope you will accept. It’s all I can offer you on such short notice.”

The Rito glanced at the vial in his wingtips and then back at the red Zora, who was giving a toothy, apologetic grin. Groaning internally, Revali determined that the last thing he wanted to do was prolong their encounter. “Sure, I’ll take it,” he replied.

A look of relief sprung up onto the Zora’s face. “Thank you so much,” he said boyishly. “And, once again, I am quite sorry! I’ll leave you to it.” And with that, the nameless Zora slipped out of the water and onto the shore, slowly walking back towards whence he came.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Revali did after shaking himself dry was to fly as far away from the river as possible. He was a great navigator, the quick trip reminded him.

Then, he decided to do some detective work. The liquid was some kind of potion, he assumed, odorless, and crimson in color. One quick sip was all it took to determine that it was also the foulest tasting concoction in existence.  If it weren’t for the sudden force of nausea hitting him like a bag of rocks, he would have thrown the vial onto the ground and shattered it immediately. Instead, he doubled over and fought his hardest not to yak up an owl pellet.

“Who in Hylia’s name would even _consider_ drinking this sewage!?” He spat. Surely not Zelda, or Mipha, or even Daruk… and then, in an epiphany,  Revali realized _exactly_ who would. The only person in Hyrule who probably even stood a _chance_. Revali laughed nefariously and leaped into the sky.

Link was sitting exactly where Revali had left him, stomach aching. Doing his utmost to subdue his excitement, the Rito walked up to the champion wearing a tailored mask of deception. “I finished my bath," he announced. "Have you not moved from here?”

Link shrugged.

“So, the others have still not arrived?” he continued.

Link shook his head.

“That’s too bad," Revali said sweetly. "Look, if you’re still feeling hungry, I bought this off a traveler for you. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but it’s supposed to… sate the appetite, I’ve been told.”

The Hylian crossed his arms. “You took money to the bath?” he asked.

“...Yes.” Revali lied convincingly. “If it helps, I already drank a vial, and I’m still here alive and kicking. I just thought that… you would appreciate some as well.”

After making silent eye contact with Revali for a slightly disconcerting amount of time, Link eventually shrugged and took the vial from Revali's wings. He made quick work of the potion, downing it swiftly, and leaving Revali both fascinated and disgusted.

Unsure of how to respond , Revali began to speak slowly. “I’m impressed, Link. It took me much longer.”

Link wiped his mouth with a sleeve, appearing perked up. “Huh,” he commented, “Really? Was it just too sweet for you?”

Revali’s eyes went wide. “I found it rather bitter tasting, actually.”

“Oh. Well, that’s odd,” Link whispered. And then, in one fell swoop, he slumped backwards onto the forest floor.

In the two second span it took for Revali to register what had just occurred, Link had already begun foaming at the mouth.“Link!” Revali shrieked. “Link! What in Hylia’s name are you doing!? Can you hear me? Hello?”

He was met with silence.

Instantaneously, thousands of alarms began igniting inside of Revali’s head, and his thoughts began careening off of the walls of his skull. Nearly all of them were bad, but two in particular stood out: He could either fly to Hateno Village for help, hoping that Link survived in the meantime, or try instead to hide Link’s body using leaves. Without thinking much about it, he launched himself upwards and took to the skies.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for stopping by!  
> Chapter updates may be sporadic, but I'll try my best not to leave ya'll hanging for _too_ long.


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